


gone

by harryisqueen



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Angst, Anxiety, Character Death, Death, Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-02
Updated: 2018-01-13
Packaged: 2018-12-21 23:56:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,026
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11955405
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/harryisqueen/pseuds/harryisqueen
Summary: Thomas unknowingly finally permanently gets rid of his anxiety





	1. pt 1 (the beginning)

     The smell burned Roman’s nostril and his nose shrivelled up in disgust. This was the 3rd time this week he had returned to this spot to cry. He didn’t understand why. That’s what perplexed him the most. Why? There were no previous signs of what was to come. You couldn’t really tell with Virgil though. He kept it all to himself.  Roman wasn’t sure why this affected him so much. He hadn’t ever really liked Virgil. This was an obvious fact in the things he said about him or the way he described him.  
  
He remembered when he had first found out that Virgil was….gone. Patton was the one to tell Logan and him. 

“Alright kiddos I need to tell ya something and it’s kinda serious.”

He remembered everything Patton had said word for word. He remembered how he had mocked him as if what Patton had to say wasn’t too important or serious.

“No seriously Roman it’s very serious and important and it’s taken me awhile to figure out how to tell you two.”

He remembered distantly the sad smile Patton had barely managed to squeeze onto his face.  
  
"Virgil’s… passed on” Patton had said tears glazing over his large brown eyes.

A gasp was heard from his left from Logan. Roman remained stone. Virgil was gone. Tears were pushing at his eyes begging to be released. Roman wasn’t supposed to care he was supposed to hate Anxiety. But for some reason, Roman couldn’t feel any hatred in his heart. All he could feel was his heartbreaking and slowly falling apart. Then it happened with a strangled sound the tears flew out of his eyes and down his cheeks. Patton was clearly surprised to see Roman crying but was quick to wrap his arms around Roman’s shaking body.

“Hey kiddo it’s okay” Patton had murmured into his ear softly as Roman sobbed onto his shoulder.

Once Roman had finally managed to compose himself he spoke

“How can that even happen” Roman questioned rubbing at his sore eyes.

“Well, what I’ve come to believe is that the medication Thomas had been taking for his anxiety worked and he’s kinda just gone,” Patton said frowning at Romans wet eyes and rubbing and his shoulder.

“So it’s Thomas’s fault,” Roman said with a whimper.

Patton’s warm eyes stared back at him.

“Roman we can’t expect Thomas to be miserable for the sake of our friend being with us” Patton had said trying his best to make Roman feel better.  
  
“Where is his body” Roman had questioned Patton.

Patton’s thick eyebrows furrowed at him.

He spoke after a few moments “If you’d like to see him he’s still in his room and I’ve decided to keep that his resting place.”

“May I go see him too?” Logan asked.

“Separately of course” Logan added.

“Yes you both can it'll be good for both of you to be able to say goodbye,” Patton said giving them both his signature smile.  
  
So here Roman was clinging to Anxiety. He still didn’t understand why he was so sad about this. He didn’t think he actually loved Virgil at all. He regretted every cruel word he had ever said to him. He was hugging Virgil’s body despite the small that made him gag and his nose burn. He wished the anxiety he was hugging had life in him. Still breathing. Still scowling. Roman felt a warm large hand on his shoulder making him jump slightly. He turned around and Logan was looking at him. He sat down next to Roman and wrapped one arm around his broad shoulders in an awkward half hug.  
  
  
     “You okay man” Logan murmured feeling the pain of his friend radiating off of him.

“Yeah I’m fine,” Roman said gently letting go of Virgil from his embrace.

“You don’t look very fine,” Logan said turning to look at him through watery eyes.

Roman forced a tiny smile on his face

“Thanks for your concern Logan but I’m okay.” Roman’s heart hurt from the love his friend was showing for him.

“The worst part is Thomas doesn’t even know what happening since Patton thought it’d be best to wipe Virgil from his memories” Roman sniffled.

Then the two of them sat there in comfortable silence for almost an hour mourning their lost friend together. After a while, Logan spoke up

“You ready to go,” Logan asked Roman.

“Yeah," Roman said brushing the tears from under his eyes.

They left Virgil’s old bedroom now coffin to go into the living room. Patton greeted them excitedly saying it was movie night. As the 3 of them cuddled onto the worn down red sofa Virgil looked down on them from his resting place. He smiled. He missed his friends. He loved the other sides but he would always do what was best for Thomas. 


	2. pt 2 (the middle)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thomas confronts the sides about keeping something from him

     Something was off. Thomas could feel it. It was a pulling feeling in the bottom of his gut screaming at him, “Something’s not right.” He had barely seen any of the sides in the past month. Usually, they would just pop in on him out of nowhere. However, as of late the only time he would see them is if he “summoned” them. He was not quite sure why they were all ignoring him. Especially Roman. The past few encounters he had with Roman were awkward, cold & distant as if he did not want anything to do with Thomas. Thomas was determined to find out why the heck they all had been acting this way.

Therefore, Thomas decided he would “summon” them to find out the cause of their odd behaviours. Logan was the first to show up out of the three. 

“You called” Logan questioned in confusion upon seeing Thomas was not filming wondering why he would need them otherwise.

“We just need to wait on the other two,” Thomas said to him.

“Yes kiddo,” Patton said appearing and smiling at Thomas.

Roman was the last to come. He remained silent just raising an angled brow at Thomas in question.

“I need to ask you three something and you have to be totally honest with me” Thomas began.

Patton, Logan & Roman all nodded at him to continue.

“Why have you all been ignoring me lately?” Thomas asked in one breath.

They were all shocked by this question definitely not, what they had been expecting him to ask. Patton was the one to finally break the silence and speak up.

“What do you mean kiddo?”

“Well it just seems like you guys have been ignoring me and the only time I can get you guys to talk to me is when I’m filming,” Thomas spoke with a small frown pulling at the corners of his mouth.

“I don’t believe we have been ignoring you” Logan spoke up lying through his teeth.

None of them had quite had the nerve to carry out a conversation with Thomas.

“I also feel as if you guys hiding something from me, I might be over analyzing the situation but it just feel that way” Thomas rushed out.

Roman had remained silent throughout the entirety of it all just observing everything. Patton had begun to get nervous. His palms had begun sweating scared Thomas somehow had remembered Virgil.

Logan cleared his throat nervously then spoke “We aren’t keeping anything from you. We wouldn’t do that.”

Logan felt guilty just straight out lying to Thomas’s face. Thomas did not believe them. He had noticed how Logan was shifting nervously. How Patton was wringing his hands and how Roman was just sitting there. Not saying anything but a clear emotion on his face, sadness.

“Guys if somethings wrong you can tell me” Thomas tried again.

He just wanted them to tell him if something was wrong. If something had happened.

“Nothing’s wrong I promise, if there was something wrong we wouldn’t keep it from you” a heavy weight was pressing down on Patton’s heart as he lied to Thomas.

  Roman could hardly stand it. They were all lying to Thomas. He wanted nothing more to tell Thomas the truth. That he previously had another side called Virgil that Thomas himself destroyed. Roman, however, could not bring himself to tell Thomas the truth. He knew it would hurt Thomas more to know what had happened than to be left in the dark.

“Roman,” Thomas said to get Roman’s attention.

Roman’s head jerked up in surprise.

Roman cleared his throat “Yes Thomas” he asked forcing a casual look on his face.

“Is something wrong you haven’t said anything yet and it looks like somethings bothering you?” Thomas asked.

Roman saw the looks the others were giving him he knew they did not trust him not to tell Thomas.

“Everything fine if there was something wrong we would tell you like Patton said,” Roman said forcing a reassuring smile on his face.

“Okay,” Thomas said trailing off.

There were a few moments of awkward silence until Patton finally broke it “If you don’t need anything else Thomas is it alright if we go?”

“Oh yeah sure!” Thomas began “Can I just talk to Roman for a couple minutes?”

A fleeting feeling of panic flitted through Thomas as Logan and Patton glanced at him.

“Oh yeah that’s fine,” Roman said to him.

“Please don’t tell him,” Patton mouthed to him as he sank out.

 

Once Logan was gone as well, Thomas spoke up “Roman now that the others are gone you can tell me what’s wrong I could tell you wanted to say something.”

The panic inside Roman rose at this statement. “Honestly Thomas nothing is wrong I promise” Roman reassured Thomas.

Thomas looked at Roman sceptically “Alright but if there IS something wrong don’t hesitate to tell me” Thomas said giving roman a smile.

“Yeah uh, sure thing” Roman replied and quickly sank out.

Once he was gone and out of Thomas’s living room, he rushed to his room to find Patton and Logan waiting for him.

“You didn’t tell him right” Logan rushed out before he could even speak.

“No, I didn’t I wouldn’t do that” Roman replied.

Logan released a breath.

“You know we’re not telling him for his own good?” Patton asked him wrapping an arm around Romans shoulders in a hug.

“Yeah I know” Roman mumbled back returning the hug.

“Ignorance is bliss I guess” Roman thought to himself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts?


	3. pt 3 (the beginning of the end)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A side effect of Thomas’s new medicine brings something far more sinister than Virgil

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts?

Logan was the first one to notice there was something off about Thomas. Something worse than the usual. Thomas had definitely not been himself, he seemed to be drawing away from the sides and not wanting to engage in videos with them. Logan brought this up to the others one night and was not surprised to see the others had noticed as well.

“I agree completely he hasn’t been wanting to talk to us at all and seems to be withdrawing from friends,” Patton said.  
  
“Do you think something could be seriously wrong?” Roman had asked concern etched on his forehead.

“But if something was really wrong don’t you think Thomas would tell us” Patton pointed out the others.

“He might but sometimes even you can try to hide negative emotions,” Roman pointed out.

“That’s true but Thomas is always so comfortable with us I doubt he would try to hide something serious from us,” Patton said.

Logan internally rolled his eyes at Patton's quickness to trust people.

“True but what if something IS wrong and he’s just too insecure to tell us” Logan could sense the light underlying panic under Roman’s voice.  
  
“Well if something is wrong the best thing we can do is ask Thomas himself tomorrow” Logan inputted.

 “I agree with Logan we aren’t getting anywhere worrying about it late at night,” Roman agreed. 

“Well then I bid you all a good night and we will discuss things about Thomas tomorrow,” Logan said then walking off to his room. 

Patton glanced over at Roman and saw his unsettled expression. 

“I’m sure he’s okay kiddo try not to worry too much about it we’ll figure it all out tomorrow,” Patton said leaning over and wrapping Roman in a quick goodnight hug then walking off to his room.  
  
*************************************************************************************  
   
The next morning Logan woke up at precisely 5:30 am and began his morning routine. Shower, Brush teeth, work on vocabulary words. Logan went to make breakfast for the others at 9:30 am. He figured that would be the best way to discuss Thomas would be over breakfast. Once he had finished the wheat banana nut pancakes he went to wake up Roman & Patton.   
He walked into Patton’s room and knocked on the doorframe then spoke: “Patton it is time to wake up I have made us all breakfast.” 

Patton mumbled in complaint but fumbled around for his glasses shoving them on his face, sliding on his house slippers and following Logan out of the room.

After waking up Roman, they were all sat at the table and discussing things.

“We just need to talk to Thomas and ask him if everything is alright,” Logan suggested putting a bite of pancake into his mouth.

“Logan is 100% right. If something is wrong he will tell us.” Roman said agreeing with the logical one.

“Alrighty, then it’s settled once we all finish eating we will talk to Thomas and make sure everything is okay,” Patton said shoving large bites of pancake into his mouth.

Once they had all finished breakfast and Logan had demanded they wash the dishes now. They sunk out to go talk to Thomas. They found him lying on his couch with the tv blaring in the background and him scrolling through his phone. He didn’t notice them when they first arrived and didn’t notice them until Logan cleared his throat to announce their arrival.

“Oh hi, guys is everything fine,” Thomas asked seeming as if he was in some sort of daze.  
“Yes everything is fine, however, we are worried about you,” Logan said.

“About me” Thomas questioned, “Whatever for?”

“You’ve seemed off maybe a little bit sad,” Patton, offered trying to coax Thomas into telling them what was wrong.

Thomas let out a halfhearted laugh “Guys I promise everything is totally fine” Thomas said offering them all a small smile.

Thomas then left the room to go upstairs. Then something struck Roman.

“Oh my God you guys.” The other 2 looked at him in shocking wondering could be wrong.

“Where’s the pill bottle to the medicine Thomas had been taking,” Roman asked sounding frantic.  
  
It took them all quite a bit of time to find Thomas’s pill bottle, which was stuffed up in the cabinet with all his dishes. Roman’s eyes scanned the side effects until his eyes landed on what he had been looking for.

“Guys! One of the side effects of this medicine is feelings of depression or hopelessness”.

“Hi, guys guess this is my cue to introduce myself I’m depression.”

The three sides swivelled around to face Thomas’s living to see a side sitting on the steps where Virgil used to sit smirking at them.


	4. pt 4 (the end)

The feeling of dread nestled itself into the pit of Roman’s stomach. What in the ever-loving hell was happening? Roman was low-key panicking on the inside but remained calm on the outside. How did none of the sides notice this before? Had Roman really been this wrapped up in himself and his own struggles he could not even take a good look at Thomas’? Since depression had announced himself, a veil of silence had taken place over the room.  
  
After a few more long moments of pure silence, Patton finally spoke up.

“Um well I’m Patton that’s Logan he represents Thomas’ logical side,” he said gesturing towards where Logan was stood looking incredibly uncomfortable “and that’s Roman he represents Thomas’ creativity,” he said sending depression a warm smile.

Leave it to Patton to be nice to literally everyone Roman thought to himself.

Depression let out a snort “Good to know.”

“What’s your name?” Patton questioned. “Unless of course, you don’t have one in which that’s fine too,” Patton said ending it with a small smile.

“That is none of your business,” depression said seeming annoyed with Patton’s innocent question.

“Oh well that’s okay I’m sure we’ll still get along without knowing your name,” Patton said grinning at him.

“Dude, is he always this annoying?” Depression questioned turning towards Logan as if asking him to agree.  
  
Roman seemed at a loss for words at Depressions comment, so Roman decided to speak up for him.

“Hey, dude leave him alone,” Roman said to Depression with a harsh glare.

Who did this guy think he was anyway? Patton looked uncomfortable at the conflict so Patton being Patton immediately diffused it

“It’s alright Logan I can be a little much sometimes let’s just try to make depression feel welcome,” Patton said with a rare forced smile.  
  
“Personally I don’t know where you come from trying to replace Virgil & reek hell on Thomas” Roman spat venomously at depression.

Depression smirked at Roman “I do whatever I want I’m here now buddy and you’re just going to have to deal with it.”

“No I’m not going to deal with it Virgil was killed because it would help Thomas and he’s replaced with you. Who personally I feel is much worse.” Roman was fuming.

Where did this guy come from saying he was here to stay?

“Hm good thing I’m not here to help Thomas.”

Patton burst into tears at this statement. Depression looking disgustingly satisfied with this reaction.

Logan awkwardly patted Patton on the back to try to bring the upset side some form of comfort.

“Now look what you’ve done you fool” Roman spat angrily at the smirking side.

He walked over to where Logan was still patting Patton on the back. Roman pulled Patton into a soft side hug.

“It’s okay buddy Thomas will be okay I promise,” Roman reassured.

“Wouldn’t be too sure of that,” Depression piped up looking annoyingly smug.

“Okay, honestly I'm not one for conflict normally but could you PLEASE stop?” Logan calmly asked the newfound side.

Before depression had the chance to respond, the mindscape seemed to shake then they were all in Thomas’s living room.

“What’s going on?” Roman asked in a panic.

Patton swallowed nervously.

“Um, something is wrong with Thomas that’s why we have been summoned by the power above.”

“Wha- we need to find him,” Roman said frantically talking off up the stairs.

The other sides followed him up the stairs. Roman dashed in and out of the few rooms that rested on the upper level of the house.  
  
  
They finally found Thomas curled up in his bed looking completely normal. They all looked at a loss for what to do. Patton was the first one to step forward.

“Hey, Thomas is everything… alright?” He asked.

Thomas sat up in bed brows furrowed in confusion at the sides that stood in front of his bed.

“Yes, I’m fine what’s going on,” Thomas asked in confusion. 

“The mindscape shook like you were in trouble,” Patton replied seeming relieved, that Thomas was okay.

“No, I’m fine,” Thomas said, “Who’s that?” he asked gesturing towards the new side.

“Hi, I’m your newest side Depression,” Depression said to Thomas rudely.

Thomas seemed quite shocked to hear of the new side.

“And he’s already proved to be quite the nuisance,” Roman spoke up.

“Oh stuff it.” Depression fired back at Roman. Thomas’s eyes shifted confused between the two sides.  
  
"Wait what?” Thomas questioned seeming confused.

“Thomas this is depression he just showed up and we’re not sure why he’s here or how he got here or what might have brought him on but he’s here now.” Logan input. “But he’s never caused any problems before,” Thomas said still sounding unsure.

“Yes, our theory is he came along as a side effect of your anxiety medicine.” Thomas seemed very shocked by this new revelation of information.

“Yeah I’m your replacement for Virgil,” Depression said smirking trying to make a dig at Roman.

“Who?” Thomas questioned head jerking up from where it was staring down at his hands in concentration.

“Oh for God’s sake,” Logan said seeming exasperated.

“Now look what you’ve done,” Roman added seeming frustrated.  
  
“Nobody, don’t worry about it, Thomas,” Patton added trying to defuse the situation.

“No, Patton who’s Virgil and why does that name sound so familiar?” Thomas asked.

Patton deeply exhaled through his nose his brain running into overdrive trying to find a way to dig them out of this one.

“Thomas we uh got to go,” Patton said in a slight demand towards the others sinking out.

The other sides sunk out after him. Including Depression but only because he did not want to be alone with Thomas.

“Dude, what the frick was that?” Roman demanded harshly shoving depression by his shoulders.

“It’s not my fault you all lied to Thomas.” He fired back shoving Roman back twice as hard.

Roman went to fire back but Patton interrupted him “Guys, not the time I have to now go wipe that memory from Thomas’s memory.”  
  
“Yeah thanks to someone.” Roman snapped.

“Could both of you shut up” Patton snapped.

After snapping at the two however his face dropped.

“Guys I’m sorry for snapping I just need to erase that memory asap otherwise this could be bad. Really bad.” Patton stressed.

“Alright go ahead we’ll wait here and I’ll make sure these two don’t literally kill each other,” Logan said adjusting his glasses.

“Thank you, Logan,” Patton said shooting a kind smile towards Logan.

Then he disappeared down the hall to clear that memory from Thomas’s mind.  
  
  
  
After what seemed like an eternity later, but in reality, it had only been a few short minutes Patton came back.

“I think I successfully cleared that memory from Thomas’s memory. We just need to be extra careful referencing anything to do with Virgil or anxiety or any of that and until further notice Depression please do not have any contact with Thomas.” Patton said.

Depression rolled his eyes at Patton

“Why should I not be allowed to talk to Thomas I’m vital to him now.” He said with that condescending smirk Roman was dying to punch off his face.  
  
“I’m being serious depression. No contact what so ever with Thomas ever or until it’s safe that he won’t remember Virgil.” Patton demanded with a slightly desperate undertone.

Depression once again rolled his eyes at Patton, however, mumbled out a “Whatever.”

His disrespect towards Patton made Roman wonder how made the others would be if he really did punch this ass in the face.

“And guys I know it sucks to have depression with us now and Virgil is gone but please try to limit even thoughts about him. I don’t want anything that could in any way trigger memories of him to Thomas.”  
  
Roman felt tears well in his eyes. The memory of Virgil could not even be brought up now thanks to this choch. He could hardly bear the idea of just completely forgetting about Virgil. Roman felt a hand land itself on his shoulder and when he turned around, he was not surprised to see Patton standing there with a sad smile on his face.

“It’s what’s best for Thomas Roman. I know it really sucks but we kind of just have to deal with it. If I’m telling the truth I dislike depression just as much as you do but we’re going to have to deal with it. We still have each other no matter who else arrives or who else might try to throw a wrench in the road.” Patton said patting him on the back lightly.

Roman smiled sadly at Patton

“It really sucks that Virgil pretty much just has to disappear completely because what’s his face couldn’t keep his mouth shut. However, if you think it’s what’s best for Thomas it’s got to be worth it. Thomas is our main concern and we have to look out for Thomas even if it hurts u sometimes.” Roman said trying to find comfort in his own words.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for reading my 4 part ff Gone! Comments and Kudos make my day!


End file.
